Even when galloping along, offer hills and across wide spreading pastures,’
raangx and into woods, where the long searohlights of the sun ~33-ierved through to
 _.the_ I brighfggfi of ntitc red red flowers and the __colors-_fi-
Even laughing anti. picnicing with the new friends I had made --—-all ranch folk
like ‘ourselves —--people who thought it nothing to run over and see us fran forty
miles of! —-- yes, even in what may have seemed my Jrappiest moments, I beg an to
he conscious of something lbreeking up within me---8. hungry urge, a longing that

xxxflti I could not analyse it. I could not

could not be aesuaged.
diagnose  e, in
within me that "could not"‘bé"stir1éd"o’r die.

_  1--sail.-i¢,—sahe~eircn1migs "B"-3.’ 't"he"artis‘t' 

*FgL'gg; t ; had. buried all of my past work». L1tora.lJ.;L-_._

:l_!urfed‘.l I had an old trunk into which I had dumped every last mazmscript I possess

ed together, with every book I had written. I called that trunk my morgue,
and I may say here for five years I never opened it.
flm 
' The summer and the long lovely fall passed away. The

children were sent to boarding school 17:J,the city. jllmvas  on the ranch,
with e housekeeper. our menwere rid1n:g’pG.e;I.l‘;r:on the‘”.£’a1lrround up. We were runn
ing a couple of thousand head of cattle and I don't 1: now how many head of horse.
I-was frightfully restless and really d.id'nt know what was the matter with myself.
My husband was back and forth betweem the two ranches, and I used to sometimes‘
make the long trips by motor with him, but as the days grew colder, he discouragd.
my accompanyibgb him. Said it was too hard. for a woman. Sometimes I would. go

as far as Calgary, and wait till he returned fran the farm, picked me up

in the City and we would return to‘ the ranch.

I never told him of how I was feeling at this time. Eor that
matter I scarcely know myself that there was anything really the matter with me. Y
Yet I xhresay mine was a pathological condition. No doubt I was feeling the reacti
tion . Anyviey when the first great snowstorm caught me all alone in the house,
4xcept for my Swedish housekeeper I   realized what

I Ind done in cutting myself off axis from all my friends and old associates and

r-'